Summary
Overview
Dax Shepard and Monica Padman welcome actor and comedian Darcy Carden for a wide-ranging conversation covering ADHD, relationships, career milestones, and her work on shows like The Good Place, Barry, and Loot. They discuss the complexities of self-diagnosis, navigating transitions from nanny to colleague, and Darcy's dream collaborations with comedy icons like Maya Rudolph.
ADHD, Self-Diagnosis, and the Spectrum Debate
The conversation opens with a deep dive into ADHD and self-diagnosis after Darcy mentions potentially having it. They explore why people get triggered by self-diagnosis, discussing whether it's about protecting sympathy as a finite resource or policing who deserves accommodations. Using the metaphor of warm fuzzies versus cold pricklies, they examine how we create artificial scarcity around empathy and understanding.
- Darcy discusses having undiagnosed ADD since childhood, with her mom always remarking on it
- Dax shares that ADHD expert Gabor Maté asked if he'd been diagnosed, prompting self-reflection
- Monica initially skeptical but started seeing ADHD traits in Dax after their discussion
- They discuss time blindness and the need for systems like alarms and time checks
" Maybe this is the ADHD. I try to brush my teeth. I can't do it. It pains me like crazy to stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth. The second I start brushing them, I go to my closet to do a task to multitask. "
" The warm fuzzies were infinite. And now everyone starts trading these cold pricklies because they think there's a limit on the warm fuzzies. "
Time Blindness and Relationship Management Systems
Darcy and Dax bond over struggles with time management, with Darcy describing her husband Jason as her protector who helps with time checks. They discuss Trevor Noah's ADHD perspective that there's only "now" and "not now," and how this affects preparation. The conversation reveals practical strategies couples use to manage neurodivergent traits.
- Darcy's husband Jason is the opposite - early, organized, and conscientious
- They use a "time check" system where either can request updates without it feeling like nagging
- Trevor Noah's ADHD framework: there's only "now" and "not now," which explains poor preparation
- Darcy realizes their relationship has a father-daughter dynamic that works for them
" For an ADHD person like himself, there's only now and not now. So his example is we're going out to eat at 730. That's not now. So I'm not even think about that. And then his friend starts getting ready at 645. He's like, what are you doing? "
" I'm baby. He's daddy. Okay, great. This is kind of hot. "
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