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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Mel Robbins (on the Let Them Theory)

November 12, 2025 • 2h 12m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

Mel Robbins, creator, entrepreneur, and bestselling author, joins Dax and Monica to discuss her Michigan upbringing, struggles with debt and alcoholism, the creation of her viral Five Second Rule, and her latest book 'The Let Them Theory.' The conversation explores childhood trauma, ADHD, patterns of control, and finding agency through simple behavioral changes.

Michigan Roots and Community Values

Mel and Dax bond over their shared Michigan upbringing, discussing Muskegon's small-town culture where her orthopedic surgeon father served the community and her mother volunteered extensively. They reminisce about snurfers, sand dune adventures, and the accountability that comes from living where everyone knows your name. The conversation reveals how this formative environment shaped their values around community engagement and personal responsibility.

  • Mel grew up in Muskegon, Michigan where her father was an orthopedic surgeon and her mother was deeply involved in community volunteering
  • Small-town accountability meant you couldn't be anonymous - your behavior was always visible and you'd be held accountable
  • Growing up, everyone had a role to play in making the town work, creating a sense of interdependence
" When you grow up in a small town, the town doesn't work unless everybody works in it. "

Academic Struggles and Hidden ADHD

Despite excelling on standardized tests with a 1440 SAT score, Mel struggled throughout college at Dartmouth with undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia. She describes feeling in constant fight-or-flight mode, unable to concentrate in the library, and pulling all-nighters regularly. This pattern of knowing what to do but being unable to execute it would continue into her adult crisis, revealing how invisible learning differences can create shame and self-doubt.

  • Mel scored 1440 on her SATs with a perfect 800 on math, allowing her to attend Dartmouth as the first person from her high school to go there
  • With undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia, she lived in constant fight-or-flight and felt like the only person who couldn't make college work
  • She couldn't concentrate in libraries, hearing every sound at volume 100, making studying nearly impossible
" I would go to the stacks and I would be so intent. OK, I've got my books. I'm going to sit down. It's a week before exams and I've barely been able to make it to class. I've got some of the assignments in and then I would sit down and it was as if my stomach growling was at volume 100. "

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