Summary
Overview
Minka Kelly joins Dax Shepard and Karen Stinkley on Mom's Car, where they surprise her with Uber Eats deliveries of her favorite foods and gifts while discussing therapy, aging, her memoir's impact, working on Ransom Canyon in Albuquerque, fitness, vices, and her new interior design venture with friend Sally. The conversation reveals her journey from Friday Night Lights to embracing her 40s with newfound freedom and self-acceptance.
The Healing Power of Writing a Memoir
Three years after publishing her memoir, Minka reflects on the profound impact of journaling through trauma and sharing her story publicly. The book detailed difficult experiences including working in a peep show, which she initially feared would make her unlovable. Instead, readers responded with overwhelming empathy and connection. She describes the experience as carrying tremendous weight that has now been lifted, feeling lighter and more comfortable in her skin, though she's unsure if it's the book or simply being in her 40s that brought this freedom.
- Writing the memoir was like intense journaling combined with therapy, creating a roadmap of how behaviors connected to past moments
- Minka feared sharing her story would make her unlovable, but was met with empathy and connection instead
- She experienced disgust from someone she showed empathy to when revealing her peep show work, highlighting double standards
- The book allowed her to stop carrying secrets and feel proud rather than ashamed
" I sort of think of it like when your therapist tells you to journal every day, it's for a reason. And imagine journaling to the extent of what it takes to write a book like that. "
" There's so many secrets and, like, things that I was afraid to ever share, because you would find me unlovable or unlikable and all these little tangled up bits about me that have only been met with so much empathy. "
Returning to Albuquerque for Ransom Canyon
Minka discusses filming Ransom Canyon in her hometown of Albuquerque, where she confronted her past by driving by and visiting the peep show location from her youth. She initially chose to live in Santa Fe to avoid the emotional complexity but ended up commuting over an hour each way. The places from her past felt smaller and more depressing than remembered. Despite loving the show and her experience as the lead in her 40s, it was canceled after one season, leaving her sad about not working with the cast anymore.
- Minka got a house in Santa Fe an hour from the studio to avoid the emotional complexity of being in Albuquerque
- She visited the peep show location with a friend and found it completely different—smaller, brighter, and unrecognizable
- The neighborhoods and houses from her childhood appeared much smaller and more depressing than she remembered
- Being the lead of Ransom Canyon in her 40s felt validating before the show was canceled
" I was so worried about it being complicated that I got a house in Santa Fe... an hour and 15 minute drive... because the studio's in Albuquerque. "
" I remember being so relieved at thinking, you want me to be the lead of your show? I'm in my 40s. That's happening? "
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