Summary
Overview
Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, and June Diane Raphael are joined by guest John Gabrus to dissect Jean-Claude Van Damme's 1996 directorial effort 'The Quest.' This spiritual sequel to Bloodsport takes all the fun martial arts tournament elements and replaces them with confusing plot holes, a baffling 1920s period setting, and JCVD in clown makeup on stilts. The hosts tear into the movie's timeline inconsistencies, questionable character motivations, and bizarre creative choices while celebrating the delightfully terrible trivia surrounding its production.
Introduction and JCVD Fandom
The hosts welcome martial arts movie superfan John Gabrus, who explains his deep love for Jean-Claude Van Damme films from his childhood spent taking karate classes while his dad had a ponytail. There's playful discussion about the chemistry between hosts and an unexpected deep dive into Paul's lack of flexibility versus June's discomfort watching men do splits, which leads to an extended riff on flexibility, masculinity, and whether it's attractive.
- John Gabrus grew up obsessed with JCVD films, taking karate classes in his dad's garage with a Vietnam vet instructor
- Gabrus ranks The Quest as his 11th favorite Van Damme film, below classics like Bloodsport, Double Impact, and even Street Fighter
- June reveals she's deeply uncomfortable watching men do splits, finding it unsettling rather than impressive
- Paul has notoriously poor flexibility with 'tree trunk legs' that trainers are shocked by
" I was born in 1982, and the early 90s to late 90s, I was taking karate classes. My dad had a ponytail. Like, we were just, I was full-blown martial arts white trash. "
" Seeing him in splits was so upsetting to me. I don't love it. I don't know why they're so flexible. I don't know what is happening to your feet. "
The Baffling Opening and Period Setting
The film opens with old man Van Damme in questionable makeup before flashing back to 1920s New York where JCVD plays a French clown on stilts who leads a gang of street children in theft. The hosts struggle to understand why Van Damme chose to make this a period piece, removing all the fun modern action elements while adding nothing of value. The movie's first act establishes confusing character motivations that never pay off.
- The movie opens in 1920, immediately disappointing young viewers hoping for a fun action film
- JCVD appears in full Marcel Marceau clown makeup on stilts, leading a gang of street children
- The film establishes that JCVD's character was abandoned by his governess as a child, but this backstory never matters to the plot
- JCVD gives a terrible speech to the children about how money buys respect and they can take whatever they want
" When that comes out and it says 1920, I'm like, why did you have to do this? When it said 1920 I was like, oh fuck this movie, basically a period movie and an action movie, you know, the fun is not going to be there. "
" With this, we buy respect. If we want something, we take it. Forever and ever. "
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