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No Such Thing As A Fish
No Such Thing As A Fish

608: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Sausage

November 06, 2025 • 51m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

A live episode from the Cheltenham Literature Festival featuring Rachel Parris, exploring bizarre historical facts ranging from 18th-century political scandals involving baboons and erotic poetry, to Japan's greatest prison escape artist who used miso soup to corrode handcuffs, Tom Stoppard's surprising work on Hollywood scripts including 'Beethoven' and 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot', and endangered British craft professions with hilariously antiquated job titles.

The Earl of Sandwich, Baboons, and Erotic Poetry

Rachel Parris introduces a remarkable story from 1764 involving the Earl of Sandwich (the inventor of the sandwich) who read an explicit erotic poem in the House of Lords as revenge after fellow MP John Wilkes set a baboon on him at the Hellfire Club. The incident stemmed from the irreverent Hellfire Club's pranks, where Wilkes dressed up a baboon as the devil, terrifying Sandwich who genuinely believed Satan had come for him. This sparked a bitter feud that culminated in Sandwich reading the obscene poem to Parliament in an attempt to ruin Wilkes, though it backfired and damaged Sandwich's own reputation.

  • In 1764, the Earl of Sandwich read a long erotic poem in the House of Lords as revenge for an MP setting a baboon on him
  • The baboon incident occurred at the Hellfire Club, where Wilkes dressed the animal as the devil, causing Sandwich to genuinely believe Satan had come for him
  • Sandwich said 'I'm not as bad a sinner as all the other people here' and tried to direct the 'devil' toward his friends
  • The Hellfire Club was founded in 1718 by the Duke of Wharton with the motto 'Do what thou wilt'
" I don't know whether you'll die upon the gallows or by the pox. That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your principals or your mistresses. "
" He was advised never to risk showing his face to a pregnant woman because she'd get pregnant twice "

John Wilkes and the Power of Number 45

John Wilkes became a revolutionary figure after publishing issue number 45 of his journal The North Britain, which argued for democratic reform. The number 45 became a symbol of dissent against the government, with supporters meeting in groups of 45, eating 45 dishes, and writing it on walls. When Wilkes was arrested and released, his supporters celebrated by drinking 45 drinks between 7:45 PM and 12:45 AM. He later supported American rebels in the War of Independence and was even present at the Boston Tea Party.

  • Issue 45 of Wilkes's North Britain journal argued for parliamentary reform and became a symbol of dissent
  • The number 45 became so powerful that people would meet in groups of 45 and eat 45 dishes as acts of political defiance
  • When Wilkes was released from arrest, supporters drank 45 drinks to him between 7:45 PM and 12:45 AM
  • The Earl of Sandwich was present at the Boston Tea Party and watched it from a window overlooking the wharf

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