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No Such Thing As A Fish
No Such Thing As A Fish

Little Fish: No Orifice Boy

August 30, 2026 • 31m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

In this episode of Little Fish, hosts Anna Tyshinsky, James Harkin, and Andrew Hunter-Murray share fascinating facts sent in by listeners, covering topics from Scottish football goalkeepers all named Ross to ancient ice cream flavors, submarine-equipped shopping malls, and the quirky naming conventions of European countries. They also distribute 'fact custodianship' to lucky listeners, giving them ownership of memorable facts from previous episodes.

Scottish Football's Ross County Roster

The team discusses how Scottish football club Ross County had an extraordinary situation in 2020 where three goalkeepers were all named Ross - Ross Dewan, Ross Laidlaw, and Ross Munro. This led to a humorous discussion about football etiquette, particularly the rule against shouting 'my ball' during matches, as it could confuse teammates and opponents alike. The conversation evolved into imagining a football match where all players are impressionists and lookalikes.

  • Ross County had three goalkeepers all named Ross: Ross Dewan, Ross Laidlaw and Ross Munro
  • The team also had a midfielder called Ross Draper and a striker named Ross Stewart
  • In football, you're not allowed to shout 'my ball' - you must say your name instead
" I think that's a much better version of football where everyone on the pitch is an impressionist, and it's tricks for football. "

Urine-Soaked Theatre Survives Fire

A fascinating historical fact reveals how Glasgow's Britannia Panopticon, the UK's oldest wooden music hall, survived a devastating 19th-century fire that destroyed the attic's wax museum and killed animals in the basement zoo. The upper gallery was saved thanks to years of audience members urinating on the wood during shows, which made it too soggy to catch fire. This led to a discussion about fire safety, taboos around urination, and the unusual physics of upside-down candles.

  • The Britannia Panopticon's upper gallery was saved from fire due to wood being soaked from years of people urinating during shows
  • The fire destroyed the attic's wax museum, which created an 'upside-down candle' effect
  • The Yazidi people consider it taboo to urinate onto fire because fire is sacred
" The upper gallery was saved, however, due to the amount of people who pissed on the wood over the years whilst watching shows, making it so soggy it never caught fire. "

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