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No Such Thing As A Fish
No Such Thing As A Fish

No Such Thing As A Shakespeare Burger

March 19, 2026 • 1h 0m

Summary

⏱️ 6 min read

Overview

A lively episode featuring ventriloquist and comedian Nina Conti, covering fascinating facts about ventriloquism in ancient Incan society, Princess Margaret's surprising connection to newspaper horoscopes, gorilla tourism protocols, and Shakespeare scholarship controversies. The discussion spans from ancient religious practices to modern conservation efforts, with plenty of humor and unexpected historical connections.

Ventriloquism in Ancient Incan Society

The episode opens with James revealing that ventriloquists held significant religious importance in Incan civilization. The yakaka priests would use fire, coca leaves, and voice projection to supposedly communicate with spirits and predict the future for leaders. This leads to a broader discussion about the ancient origins of ventriloquism, including Greek gastromancers who claimed voices came from their stomachs or genitals, and how the practice has evolved from spiritual divination to entertainment.

  • Incan priests called yakaka used ventriloquism to divine the future by summoning spirits through fire and voice projection
  • Ancient gastromancers were believed to channel spirits through their bodies, with voices supposedly coming from the stomach or genitals
  • The Oracle at Delphi may have used ventriloquism or hidden tubes to create the illusion of divine communication
  • There are only 15 full-time professional ventriloquists in the UK today
" They would set a fire, they would blow a pipe and the flames would bounce around and he would take some coca leaves and then he would supposedly summon the spirits and when they came in the smoke or whatever or in the fire he would start to divine the future "
" If you hump your tongue towards the soft palate, you're making substitute lips in the back of your mouth. And then if you sort of hold the air behind that and then expel it, you'll get the buh sound. "

Princess Margaret and the Birth of Modern Horoscopes

Nina introduces the surprising fact that Princess Margaret's birth in 1930 led directly to the modern newspaper horoscope phenomenon. When a newspaper editor commissioned astrologer Naylor to write predictions about the newborn princess's life, the article proved so popular that it spawned a global trend of daily horoscopes in newspapers. The section also explores Margaret's complicated life as the spare heir, including her forbidden romance and the requirement that the Home Secretary witness royal births to prevent baby-swapping.

  • John Gordon of the Sunday Express commissioned an astrological prediction for Princess Margaret's birth, which became wildly successful and inspired newspapers globally to adopt horoscopes
  • The Home Secretary had to be present at royal births to verify authenticity and prevent baby-swapping, a tradition that continued until Margaret
  • Margaret kept a license plate reading PM6450, believed to commemorate April 6, 1950, possibly when she lost her virginity
  • Margaret was forbidden from marrying divorcee Peter Townsend due to the Royal Marriages Act of 1772
" If you got them made in advance, you could see, too, if you were a person. "
" You'd have to refer to me by my royal title, your royal highness. You had to refer to me as that during heavy petting. "

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