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Quickly Kevin; will he score? The 90s Football Show
Quickly Kevin; will he score? The 90s Football Show

Now That's What I Call Quickly Kevin....Vol. 1 (QK Reloaded)

April 01, 2026 • 37m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

This episode is a lockdown special compilation featuring best bits from previous episodes and listener correspondence. The hosts revisit classic moments including Matt Letissier's tale of infamous Premier League impostor Ali Dia, Paul Merson discussing Arsene Wenger's revolutionary arrival at Arsenal and his chaotic time at Middlesbrough, and Jim Rosenthal's stories about Brian Moore's regretted commentary and Donald Trump's bizarre Rumbelows Cup draw appearance. The episode closes with Des Lynam's poetry reading.

Listener Correspondence: Football Mishaps

The hosts read through amusing listener stories including a tale about Rufus Brevett whose kids never received their Christmas Jeep because an employee kept his autograph instead of processing the delivery paperwork, and a story about a mother who bought her son a Chelsea shirt thinking CFC stood for Cromsall Football Club, forcing the Manchester United fan to wear it for weeks.

  • Rufus Brevett tried to buy a battery-powered Jeep for his kids at Toys R Us in Woking
  • The employee kept the signed paperwork as memorabilia and forgot to duplicate it
  • The Brevett kids never got their Jeep in time for Christmas
  • Brevett returned after Christmas and was unnecessarily understanding about the mistake
  • A Manchester United fan's mother bought him a Chelsea shirt thinking CFC stood for Cromsall Football Club
  • He had to wear the Chelsea shirt for weeks while playing street football until it mysteriously went missing
" My mum had seen it in a sports shop and thought that CFC on the badge stood for Cromsall Football Club. "

The Ali Dia Scandal

Matt Letissier recounts the incredible story of Ali Dia, widely considered the worst Premier League player ever, who conned his way onto Southampton's team by pretending to be George Weah's cousin. Letissier was forced off injured in the match, only to watch in horror as Dia came on as his replacement. The tale gets even more bizarre when Dia had the audacity to return the next day for treatment before doing a runner, leaving an unpaid hotel bill.

  • Ali Dia turned up for training after George Weah allegedly called Graham Souness recommending his 'cousin'
  • In training, Letissier thought Dia had won a competition - he was that bad
  • Dia made the substitutes bench despite his poor performance in training
  • When Letissier got injured 20 minutes in, Dia came on as his replacement
  • Dia had a good chance to score but missed the ball completely
  • He was substituted off after just 45-50 minutes, replaced by a centre-back playing striker
  • Dia reported for treatment the next day, then fled without paying his hotel bill
  • After Southampton, Dia dropped from Premier League to Gateshead, several divisions down
" I honestly thought he'd won a competition. He's come to train with us in the local paper. "
" I looked up and he stood on the touchline. I'm thinking, no. Oh, no. "
" They put him on £400 a week, my brother. He'd sit and watch telly with me. "

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