Summary
Overview
In this profound conversation about beliefs and self-perception, Marissa Peer explores how our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality, and more importantly, how we can consciously choose and change them. Drawing from her experience teaching thousands of therapists, she breaks down the core psychological patterns that govern human behavior, offering practical strategies for transforming limiting beliefs into empowering ones. The discussion ranges from the neuroscience of thought to childhood conditioning, with particular focus on how our subconscious mind works to make our thoughts real.
The Power of Choosing Your Beliefs
Marissa Peer introduces the revolutionary concept that we can actively choose our beliefs, sharing her personal transformation from childhood to present day. She explains how beliefs create our reality through confirmation bias, where we seek proof of what we've chosen to believe. Using examples ranging from attitudes about pets to professional success, she demonstrates how the same reality can be experienced differently based on our chosen beliefs, emphasizing that beliefs should be constantly questioned, updated, and upgraded.
- Beliefs from childhood can be completely different from beliefs we hold now because we choose to give ourselves better beliefs
- You make your beliefs and then your beliefs turn around and make you, with confirmation bias ensuring you find proof of what you believe
- Should constantly question beliefs by asking: Where did I get that from? Is it true? Who told me that belief?
- Your grandmother's beliefs about success and relationships don't have to be your beliefs
" You make your beliefs and then your beliefs turn right around and make you and then confirmation bias means you look for proof of what you have chosen to believe and you'll find it "
" You should constantly upgrade, update, question your belief. Where did I get that from? Is that true? Who told me that belief? And even if it's true for them, does it have to be true for me? "
Lying to Yourself as a Strategy for Success
Marissa introduces a controversial but transformative concept: intentionally lying to yourself to overcome limiting beliefs. She argues that telling yourself empowering things, even if you don't initially believe them, is a legitimate psychological strategy. Through the example of exam anxiety, she demonstrates how our self-talk directly impacts performance, explaining that the subconscious mind doesn't think but only feels, making it responsive to repeated affirmations regardless of their initial truth.
- Lie to your mind, cheat fear, and steal back the confidence you were born with
- The subconscious doesn't think, it just feels - it responds to what you tell it
- When you're scared or nervous, your mind empties and blood rushes to your heart, shutting down cognitive function
- Positive self-talk before exams (affirming good memory and calmness) leads to better performance than negative predictions
" I think you should lie to yourself. I think you should lie, cheat and steal every day of your life. Lie to your mind, cheat fear and steal back the confidence you were born with. "
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