Summary
Overview
A Feedback Friday episode where Jordan and Gabriel address listener questions about relationship challenges and workplace dysfunction. The episode features updates from a previous listener about her first real relationship, advice for dealing with an incompetent boss, and guidance on communicating relationship standards. The hosts also share product recommendations and discuss parenting approaches for imparting wisdom to teenage children.
Japanese Transgender Sex Worker Relationship Update
A listener who previously wrote about struggling with vulnerability and intimacy provides an update. After following advice to be more open, she entered her first real relationship with a Chinese grad student. Despite strong chemistry, the relationship faces serious challenges including her partner's messiness, procrastination, broken promises, and a sudden decision to pursue wealth in China instead of building a life together in Japan. The listener is now experiencing unfamiliar feelings of heartbreak and questioning whether to maintain the relationship.
- Listener decided to become more vulnerable and stopped seeing relationships as purely transactional after previous advice
- Met partner on dating app who is in early 20s while listener is almost 40, quit sex work and got multiple STD tests for relationship
- Partner's dorm was extremely filthy with period blood in tub, cooking oil and crumbs everywhere, boxes stacked to ceiling
- Partner frequently broke promises about cleaning, going to immigration office, and finishing thesis which was written by AI
- Partner went to China claiming it would be for one month to reset but quickly took a job there, now wants listener to wait or move to China
- Listener experiencing unprecedented emotional pain, sitting on their shared sofa feeling like crying for first time
" I took your advice to heart. I decided to become more vulnerable, to stop seeing everyone as transactional and try loving someone simply for who they are. "
" When I sit on the sofa where we used to sit together, I feel like I could cry, which almost never happens for me. I've always immediately been able to cut people out of my life and move on without any feeling or a second thought. But not this time. "
" She's terrified of getting chlamydia, but she doesn't mind standing in antibiotic-resistant E. coli every morning. "
" You can't even clean the cooking oil off the kitchen floor or the period blood off your bathtub. But, yeah, you're going to be a multimillionaire because you joined a startup. "
Advice on Dealing With Incompetent University Administrator
A university employee describes their new boss Adam who has devastated department morale through terrible leadership decisions. Adam announced mandatory office return, merged incompatible departments, and is obsessed with an AI product that cost thousands but is clearly garbage. Most egregiously, he concluded a major meeting on September 11th by saying he hopes people think of his AI idea instead of the national tragedy. Despite claiming an open-door policy, Adam refuses to listen to data or feedback and has put the letter writer on multiple committees.
- New boss implemented mandatory five-day office return and merged all departments despite drastically different goals and functions
- Boss concluded 9/11 meeting saying 'when you think of 9-11, I hope you don't think of the nation's tragedy, but instead think of our new AI idea'
- Boss fired assistant dean just because he didn't like her, causing mass exodus and destroyed morale
- When asked for feedback on expensive new AI offering, boss dismissed all concerns saying 'I have a gut feeling this will be great'
- Boss refuses to listen to data or reasoning and has put letter writer on all his committees despite clear reservations
" The best part? This meeting was on 9-11. And he concluded the meeting by saying, when you think of 9-11, I hope you don't think of the nation's tragedy. But instead, think of our new AI idea. "
" We expressed our deep concerns about his new AI offering, and he said, don't worry about it. I have a gut feeling that this will be great. "
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