Summary
Overview
Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi tackle complex listener dilemmas in this Feedback Friday episode, recorded while Jordan travels through Japan. The show addresses three major challenges: a police officer escaping a toxic marriage with a narcissistic spouse who attempted suicide, a professional wrestling with job offers while managing a trespassing conviction from his past, and an introvert seeking to improve workplace networking and social connections. Throughout, they emphasize the importance of protecting yourself, making strategic career decisions, and building authentic relationships despite personality challenges.
Japan Travel Stories: The 7-Eleven Incident and Restaurant Reservations
Jordan shares stories from his current Japan trip, particularly recounting Gabe and his friend Aaron's misadventure trying to find food in Akihabara. After being turned away from eight to ten restaurants that required reservations, they attempted to eat purchased food inside a 7-Eleven, were scolded by staff, then hid in a stairwell to finish eating before finally finding a restaurant. The story illustrates both the strict cultural norms around eating in public in Japan and the challenges that arise when traveling while managing hunger and fatigue.
- In Japan, you cannot eat in public or in most 7-Eleven locations—very different from Taiwan where convenience stores welcome diners
- Roll-up culture doesn't exist in Japan—restaurants can be half empty but still require reservations
- Gabe's friend Aaron gets 'hangry' and cannot function without food, adding urgency to their restaurant search
- They were scolded for trying to eat inside a 7-Eleven, then caught eating in a closed restaurant's stairwell by the manager
- After being turned away from numerous places, they finally found a loud restaurant full of businessmen where they ate in silence
" Can we eat the cats? Like that's how hungry we are. "
" The wrapping on the plastic on the onigiri in Japan is so intricate. It makes you realize why they didn't give up in World War II. "
Escaping a Toxic Marriage with a Narcissistic Partner
A police officer writes about his tumultuous 10-year marriage to a woman with severe trauma, narcissistic traits, and mental health issues. Despite his professional training in de-escalation and mental health, his wife's behavior has become increasingly controlling and manipulative. After he filed for divorce, she attempted suicide, made threatening calls to his family and colleagues, leading him to obtain an order of protection. He now questions what obligations he has to help her retrieve her belongings and whether he's doing the right thing by maintaining distance.
- Officer developed clinical skills in active listening, de-escalation, and mental health through his job, which he tried applying at home
- Wife had troubled past with abuse, trauma, and sexual assault, but her treatment of him became condescending, passive-aggressive, and toxic
- Wife lives exclusively in their bedroom, never leaving except for bathroom and medical appointments, while he handles all household responsibilities
- After discovering his divorce plans, wife attempted suicide by taking prescription pills, then made 53 calls in 24 hours plus threatening voicemails
- He obtained order of protection and filed for divorce; wife is now hospitalized but he's marked as eligible for rehire at his company
" For the past five years, nothing seems to work. She still seems to treat me the same way with the same frequency. The same things still trigger her, such as standing up for myself or disagreeing with her even slightly. "
" Most people juggle kids and kids' activities with their own hobbies, but me, I juggle spending time with my wife and cleaning the house and having my own agency, wants, and needs. There are times when I feel more like a single dad than a husband, and that's not right either. "
" I snooped through your phone without your permission, with absolutely no reason to be suspicious. And as I was reading your personal communication, I discovered you were talking about something legitimate with a friend of yours that you had already discussed with me. And that is a huge breach of my trust. "
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