Summary
Overview
Jordan and Gabe tackle a variety of complex interpersonal challenges in this Feedback Friday episode, including a woman terrified her abusive brother-in-law plans to murder her sister in the Canadian wilderness, a father dealing with judgmental parents who undermine his parenting of adopted special-needs children, and someone trying to distance themselves from an impossibly insecure friend. The hosts also discuss the art of knowing when to share your goals versus keeping them private, and Jordan reveals he's secretly been taking salsa classes.
Opening Banter: Jordan's Secret Dance Classes
In a lighthearted opening, Gabe reveals that Jordan has been secretly taking salsa dance classes with his wife Jen, after years of roasting Gabe's own dance workshops. Jordan explains he originally wanted to learn tango after seeing a demo in Argentina and bought the lessons as a Christmas gift for Jen. Unlike his stressful wedding dance experience, salsa is playful and low-stakes with a supportive teacher, making it genuinely enjoyable.
- Jordan arrives late to their meeting because of dance class, revealing he's been taking salsa lessons
- Jordan originally wanted tango lessons after being inspired in Patagonia, finding it easier than other dance styles
- The new teacher is positive and encouraging, unlike the strict wedding dance instructor
- Jordan and Jen returned to the same studio after seven years, with the owner offering free lessons if they promise not to quit again
" Why is family so good at pushing your buttons? Because they put the buttons there in the first place. "
" I already abuse my wife and kids as much as I want, which is the only place you drag your wife is salsa. And she loves it. "
Sister Moving to Canadian Wilderness with Abusive Husband
A woman writes in terrified that her brother-in-law, who has a history of physical and verbal abuse plus a traumatic brain injury, has purchased property in the remote Northwest Territories and plans to take her sister and niece and nephew there. She confronted her sister via text expressing fear he might murder them, which created family tension. Her entire family dismisses her concerns and backs the brother-in-law, leaving her isolated in her panic.
- Brother-in-law has history of abuse including dragging sister by hair and verbal abuse while drunk
- He suffered traumatic brain injury causing increased likelihood of violence and impaired impulse control
- He bought property 5,000 kilometers from civilization without discussing with his wife
- The entire family backs the brother-in-law and practices conflict avoidance
- Sister has no financial means or safe place to escape to if she wanted to leave
" We would all rather watch someone slowly die than confront the fact that we could save them. We are slowly peel-the-band-aid-off people, so they're avoiding conflict to keep everything from exploding. "
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