Summary
Overview
In this Feedback Friday episode, Jordan and Gabe tackle several complex personal dilemmas. They discuss supporting a partner with addiction who drinks heavily while maintaining a full schedule, navigating a significant age gap and reproductive differences in a loving relationship, managing financial and personality challenges with a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, and a self-aware narcissist's journey to break generational cycles of emotional abuse. The hosts provide thoughtful guidance on taking responsibility for personal growth, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help.
Breaking Free from Alcohol Addiction
A listener writes in about drinking a fifth of alcohol daily while maintaining a job, running, and raising children. Jordan and Gabe emphasize that supplements won't solve this level of addiction and strongly recommend recovery programs like AA, Refuge Recovery, or Smart Recovery. They stress that this is a full-blown addiction requiring professional support and that the listener has a responsibility to their children to get sober.
- Listener drinks 750ml of hard liquor daily while working full-time and running
- Jordan advises recognizing the addiction and trying things in a different way for yourself and your children
- Recovery programs recommended: AA, Refuge Recovery (Buddhist principles), Smart Recovery (CBT-based)
- Running and working out would be more enjoyable without alcohol's effects
- The listener should consider getting sober for their kids if not for themselves
" Your Kirkland Signature B12 tablet ain't going to cut it, sis. No, if anything, it's just going to give you more energy to drink and apparently run a 5K before work every day. "
" You are drinking a fifth a day. You cannot make anyone do anything they don't want to do. You can't save anyone. You cannot fix anyone. That's ultimately going to be an inside job. "
May-December Romance with No Regrets
A 47-year-old woman shares her relationship with a 31-year-old man that began at a dog park. Despite a 15-year age gap, fertility challenges, financial difficulties from her abusive late husband, and trauma, they have an extraordinary connection. She questions whether it's fair to "saddle" him with her baggage, but Jordan and Gabe help her see that she's creating obstacles that may not exist and that her boyfriend is choosing to be with her fully aware of her circumstances.
- Woman met younger man at dog park, initially wrote him off due to 15-year age gap
- She cannot have children due to endometriosis and diminished ovarian reserve, not age
- She's a widow whose abusive ex-husband took his own life, leaving her with debt and trauma
- Her boyfriend is financially successful, emotionally mature, and very supportive despite the challenges
- She feels guilty about not being able to contribute equally financially or give him children
" I desperately wanted to be a mother when I was younger, but I've had so many heartbreaks, and at this point I would likely be decently into my 50s before we were emotionally and financially ready to go the IVF route. And that sounds so exhausting. "
" I scored big while he landed an aging and fertile widow with financial problems. "
" Maybe the kindest thing I can do for love is to let him be free to have a partner who can give him everything that I cannot. "
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