Summary
Overview
Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi tackle listener dilemmas on this Feedback Friday episode, including a massage therapist who discovered a male colleague was using his wife's license to practice while sexually assaulting clients, a woman struggling with her dysfunctional family's pressure to care for her abusive grandfather, a Grindr sextortion attempt that backfired, and a man seeking dating advice after repeated relationship failures. The hosts provide practical guidance on setting boundaries, protecting oneself from predators, and navigating complex family dynamics.
Unlicensed Massage Therapist Confession
A yoga instructor and massage therapist writes in about discovering that a male colleague named John was operating under his wife's license and name (Alex) and had sexually assaulted 15 women during massages. Despite three prior complaints, the spa manager initially dismissed the accusations and revoked the victims' memberships for 'lying.' The situation only came to light when the massage board called, revealing John was unlicensed. The writer is now concerned he's still operating through home massage apps and wants to know how to stop him.
- Massage therapist discovered colleague 'John' legally changed his name to 'Alex' to use his wife's massage license
- John confessed to sexually abusing 15 women on the massage table, some of whom paid him for the service
- Three women complained but were dismissed as liars and had memberships revoked by the spa manager
- Multiple crimes involved including false personation, identity theft, and theft by false pretenses
- John is still operating through home massage apps despite reports
" The massage board had called and told her that there was a complaint against him for sexual assault at our spa. When the manager talked to him, he confessed to sexually abusing 15 women on the massage table at the spa by going down on them in the middle of the massage or rubbing himself up on them. "
" Three women complained but our manager believed John over the women and two of the women had their memberships revoked for quote unquote lying. "
Family Dysfunction and Grandfather Care Dilemma
A 30-year-old therapist writes about her dysfunctional family dynamic where her mother, who was physically and emotionally abusive, moved her own abusive father into the family home and assigned the writer's brothers to care for him. The mother stayed close to the father who abandoned the family, likely to secure his inheritance. The writer refuses to interact with the grandfather and is considering going no contact with her parents after they accused her of being 'brainwashed' by therapy and her uncle.
- Mother grew up with severe trauma including domestic violence, physical abuse, substance use, sibling death, and parental abandonment
- Mother was physically and emotionally abusive specifically toward the eldest daughter (the writer)
- Mother's father abandoned family but has hundreds of thousands of dollars stashed, likely motivating mother to provide care
- Brothers were assigned as home health aides to wipe grandfather's ass under guise of 'this is what family members do'
- Parents don't believe in mental health and accused daughter of being 'brainwashed' by therapy and her uncle
" I started therapy in my early 20s because I wanted to know what was wrong with me that caused my mom to not like me and be so mean. "
" My mom simply said, this is what family members do... My two brothers waited on him hand and foot, and even wiped his ass several times a day. "
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