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What's Up Docs?
What's Up Docs?

Is crying good for you?

August 18, 2026 • 28m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

Dr. Chris and Dr. Zand explore the complex world of crying with chartered psychologist Kimberly Wilson. They examine why we cry, how crying functions as communication from infancy through adulthood, the health implications of emotional suppression, and practical ways to respond when others cry. The episode challenges assumptions about crying being weakness and reveals it as essential human communication and emotional regulation.

The Many Forms and Functions of Crying

Kimberly Wilson explains that crying is far more nuanced than just sadness - it's a physiological response to intense emotions including anger, fear, happiness, and surprise. She describes crying as a 'valve' that releases surges of feeling and adrenaline. Different types of tears exist, from emotional tears to reflexive ones when chopping onions, but emotional crying serves as a crucial means of expressing what we're experiencing physiologically.

  • Crying encompasses different types: emotional tears, tears of surprise, and physiological tears that clear the eyes
  • Crying is fundamentally a means of release and expressing physiological experiences
  • People cry during intense versions of many emotions: anger, fear, humiliation, happiness, and surprise
  • Crying acts as a physiological valve that takes the edge off adrenaline surges and intense feelings
" It's almost as if it's kind of that physiological valve of just kind of taking off the edge of the adrenaline or the surge of feeling and emotion that is within you at that point. "

Baby Crying as Essential Communication

The discussion reveals how baby crying is fundamentally about survival and communication. Since infants lack both the mental capacity and vocal ability to express needs otherwise, crying must be intolerable enough to compel caregivers to investigate. The caregiver's response to crying becomes the foundation for a child's emotional vocabulary, teaching them that distress is valid, understandable, and survivable with help from others.

  • Crying is a baby's first and essential form of communication for survival
  • Babies have no means of regulating themselves, making crying absolutely essential
  • Baby crying must be intolerable to put the burden on caregivers to do detective work
  • Small problems warrant big tears because babies don't know problems can be solved or that they'll survive discomfort
  • The caregiver's translation process builds the child's emotional vocabulary by validating distress and demonstrating remedies exist
" The crying has to be intolerable because it's going to put the burden on us to do the detective work to work out what the problem is. "
" That process of translation is the first stepping stone in building that child's emotional vocabulary. Because what you're doing, and especially if you're speaking out loud, is saying the distress you are in is understandable, it's valid, I care about you enough to try to work out what it is, there is a remedy for it, and you can survive it. "

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