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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty

6 Lessons I Wish I Knew in My 20’s & 30’s (This Will INSTANTLY Give You Direction!)

November 21, 2025 • 28m

Summary

⏱️ 8 min read

Overview

Jay Shetty shares essential life lessons for people in their 20s and 30s, drawing from his own experiences and psychological research. He explores why results are overrated, how to distinguish your authentic voice from external noise, the separation between success and happiness, building genuine confidence, handling rejection, and understanding the messy reality of healing and personal growth.

The 1% Principle: Results Are Overrated

Shetty challenges the obsession with outcomes by introducing the 1% principle - we see only 1% of someone's life and mistakenly think we want it. He uses examples of Olympic champions like Michael Phelps, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Simone Biles to illustrate that success requires extreme dedication to process, not just desire for results. The key insight is that you must fall in love with the daily systems and sacrifices required, not just the trophy at the end.

  • The 1% principle: You see 1% of someone's life and think you want it, but don't see the process required
  • Michael Phelps trained 5-6 hours daily, 6 days a week, swimming 50 miles weekly at peak with no days off for six years
  • Cristiano Ronaldo does 5 sessions weekly (90-120 minutes each), sleeps in 90-minute cycles, and eats 6 small meals daily
  • Simone Biles trains 6 hours daily in two sessions, emphasizing mental training as much as physical
  • When Shetty met monks and admired their peace, he realized he didn't want their 4am wake-ups and 48 hours of meditation
" You see 1% of someone's life and you think you want it. You see the vacations, the home, the parties or the car and naturally you think to yourself, that is what I want. But it's not how bad you want it. It's about the systems you're willing to create and commit to in order to get there. "
" I've never met a strong person who hasn't made sacrifices. I've never met a strong person whose life went according to plan. I've never met a strong person who didn't cry in private and still show up in public. "
" You don't get their peace without living their process. "

Don't Confuse Noise for Your Inner Voice

Shetty addresses the exhaustion that comes from trying to meet everyone else's expectations rather than following your authentic desires. He emphasizes that living for approval from parents, friends, and culture leads to a life others are proud of, not one you're proud of. The key is distinguishing between external noise and your quiet inner voice that guides you toward genuine fulfillment.

  • People in their 20s and 30s are exhausted from trying to be what everyone else expects, drowning out their actual desires
  • Choosing partners or careers based on friend approval leads to living a life they're proud of, not one you're proud of
  • Jim Carrey's wisdom: You might fail doing something you don't love, so you might as well fail doing something you actually love
  • Exercise: Write down the three loudest voices in your head, then ask what you'd want if those opinions didn't exist
" You can't chase what looks good online and expect it to feel good inside. You can't chase someone else's goals and expect to feel happy. You can't live for approval and still feel at peace. "
" I realized I was chasing their goals and even that I was doing it poorly. "

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