Summary
Overview
Jake Shane joins Jay Shetty for an intimate conversation about navigating sudden fame, mental health struggles, dating as a gay man in the public eye, and finding fulfillment beyond external validation. Jake opens up about his OCD, body image journey, fear of being perceived as a bad person, and the loneliness of modern dating while managing his rapidly growing platform.
Confusion and Fulfillment in Success
Jake reflects on feeling confused about how he arrived at his current success, describing this chapter of his life as the calm before a big wave. Despite achieving major milestones like Broadway and a Netflix show, he struggles with the realization that younger Jake thought any one of these accomplishments would bring permanent happiness. Instead, he experiences a pattern of intense fulfillment followed by emptiness and the question of 'what now?'
- Jake describes feeling confused about how he got to where he is, like he's in the calm before a big wave
- Younger Jake believed one major accomplishment would make him complete and permanently happy
- After Broadway ended, Jake felt incredibly fulfilled during the run but immediately questioned 'what now?' when it was over
- The transition from unanimous validation during live shows to mixed online feedback has been difficult
" If one of these things happened to younger Jake, his whole life would be complete and he would be able to be happy and have it be over. "
" I was so fulfilled while I was on Broadway. And then the second it was over, I'm like, well, what now? "
Journaling as a Safe Space and OCD Struggles
Jake discusses his recent journey with journaling after experiencing a difficult period in January. He reveals his confession OCD, which creates a constant fear that his private thoughts will be exposed or used against him. Journaling has become the one place where his thoughts feel truly safe, unlike typing on devices which triggers his paranoia about being hacked or exposed.
- Jake started journaling in January after feeling really bad about himself, initially writing negative things
- Someone advised him to journal small details he'd otherwise forget, like seeing Jay and receiving an octopus gift
- Jake experiences confession OCD—a fear that he must tell everyone everything or they'll discover it and use it against him
- Writing in a physical journal is the only place Jake feels his thoughts are safe from being exposed
" I'm always scared of, like, my thoughts escaping my head, if that makes sense. It's like an OCD thing. "
" Writing stuff down in a journal is, like, the one place that it feels safe. Like, even typing on a laptop, I'm scared that someone's going to take my laptop. "
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