Summary
Overview
Kiki Palmer opens up about her journey from child stardom to self-discovery, discussing how she found purpose through mindfulness practices, the challenges of growing up in the entertainment industry, and what she's learned about authenticity, boundaries, and love. She reveals the tools she developed to survive success, the moment she learned to put herself first, and how becoming a mother has reconnected her with her truest self.
Finding Authenticity Through Uncomfortable Feelings
Kiki explains that she feels most like herself when she allows herself to have uncomfortable feelings rather than pushing through. For most of her life, the part that pushed through won, leading to disconnection and even disembodiment. Having her son brought her into presence and made her realize she was betraying herself by prioritizing what others wanted over her own needs. Now she's learning that being good with herself is what actually makes her better at everything else.
- Feels most like Lauren when allowing uncomfortable feelings rather than always being ready and capable
- Having her son brought presence and awareness of disconnection from constantly pushing through
- Now actively choosing rest over pushing capacity, honoring when she doesn't have it to give
- Learning that force isn't the only way - must recognize when frequency changes to rest
" When I allow myself to have uncomfortable feelings. Because I think that that's what I've been working on getting back to because being able to do all the stuff I do and, you know, on the road to success, I was trying so hard to just, you know, be the best and, you know, be in a good mood and be ready. And so the part that really got pushed down was like the human part. "
" I'm aware of it now. And so I can say, like, look, I don't have it. And that makes me feel really, truly confident and secure. "
Lessons From Motherhood and Setting Boundaries
Kiki's three-year-old son reflects qualities of her most human self before adaptation. She sees him as demanding with clear boundaries, very present and unbothered. Watching him be unapologetically himself has given her courage and self-awareness. She's learning to balance guiding him while not stopping him from discovering who he is, especially wanting him to maintain his sense of power as a young Black man.
- Son shows her what she was like before caring about others' perceptions - demanding, boundaried, loving, polite
- Kids make you present in a way that stretches space and time differently
- Son is very expressive, a good debater, has strong sense of self and boundaries around touch
- Wants to guide without curating too much, preserve his strength and power as a young man
" I get to see a human before they become aware of how they relate to others can impact them or how others see them might impact them. So I've learned that I'm very demanding. "
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